Posted by: Moses | August 9, 2008


I decided that I wanted to preserve these, but as a category rather than a page


1. “Tommy, are you checkin’ me out?”

2. “That sounds funny doesn’t it?”

3. “Gerry!”

4. “‘Urbs’ is such a fun word!”

5. “This tense is easy. You take the stem, you stick a “bra” on it, and then you add the normal endings… what, what’s so funny?”

6. “Maximus!”

7. “Augustine, could you please demonstrate for the class why “manus” is a very feminine word?”

And our favorite retorts…

1. “I feel MASCULINE today!” – Gerry
2. “Frankly, girls make me uncomfortable.” -Gerry
3. Drowning in an attempt to translate some Augustine, “This doesn’t make any sense at all. This guy must be a democrat.” -Gerry


1. Dr. Cook: “Is it wrong to turn a stone into bread? Well…”
Bzzzzzzzzzz “What is that?”
Student: “A blower.”
Dr. Cook: “Somebody go throw a stone at him.”

2. Dr. Cook: “I like this guy Erasmus, ‘When I have a little money, I buy books. When I have a little bit of money left over, I buy food.’ Yes, I agree, so keep your textbooks!”

3. Dr. Cook: “Does anyone have any questions about the project? How ’bout the answer to number 1? *intending to be sarcastic*
Student with raised hand: “It’s B, Dr. Cook”
Dr. Cook: “What? Oh, that’s not what I meant…”

4. Dr. Cook: *Completely out of nowhere* “Don’t put books on a table and put lamps on them. That’s what my wife does. They’re just not… accessible.”

4.5. The next day he put up a picture of his office on the projector, which illustrated the bookage underneath a lamp. He proceded to confess, under duress from his wife, that he had put those books there because they were too big to stand upright on his shelves. Furthermore, there was a little one on top of the big one that seemed like it would have fit on his shelf just fine. The explanation: “Well, it just didn’t look right with the one book under the lamp.”

5. Isaac was a passive kinda guy… you know living in the basement of his dad’s tent a little too long.

6. I had a point to make with that… and I totally forgot. (I think this is my favorite, I was truly impressed with his honest humility in front of two hundred students. 🙂

7. Now you girls who are really intelligent. Don’t marry an idiot… there are a lot of guys out there who are dumber than you are.


1. “The Old Testament saints were justified through Christ too. Abraham was justified by faith because he was looking forward to Christ. In a sense it was like the longest “Hail Mary” in history…. *awkward silence followed by raucous laughter* Of course in the football sense of the phrase.”


1. “I don’t understand this tradition; I give my girlfriend dying reproductive organs as a display of affection.” (Lest he be mortified, referring to flowers)



  1. good idea. =)

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